my heart soar

they're my parents. 
I miss them.
Losing your parents is never easy,
however old you are.
I find this frustrating and stupid.

Well, you never get over it.
In fact, you get through it
YES, probably I get used to it
but I don't get over it.

A pieces of my life jigsaw has been removed and
however much I rearrange the other pieces,
they never quite fit in the same way again.

The difficult times are still there,
but they ebb and flow and live learned to accept them.

Birthday can be hard,
every time, not every year but occasionally.
There's no rhyme or reason to when it might happen.
I'm only human. Forgive me Allah!
I can be fine for a months, maybe a year

The smallest thing can make my heart dip; 
seeing a young child with their parents because
my parents don't really spent time with me when I was kid

grief can do strange things to you.
an emotion that often rears its head is envy
It's not something I'm proud of but it's there all the same
It usually burns low but increases slightly in certain situation

my parents were by no means perfect
and I wasn't the ideal daughter
Whatever it is I'm still their daughter
I always be
and they'll always be my parents
I carry them with me each day..

deep inside, I really miss them.