M.O.V.E O.N

2013 CELEBRATION AT CASINO COUNTRY CLUB

moving on doesn't mean forget about things

it just means you have to accept what happend

and continue living

2013, gonna miss you

summer graduation December 14th, 2013

after a long journey..

UTAS

parade

happiness & excited

:)

sister & listener

brother

I'm officially a Bachelor Environmental Design (ARCHITECTURE) holder

credit: lokman

there is no words except thank you

thank you for always being there for me

thank you so much for the emotionally,mental and financial support

thank you so much for the doa yang tak pernah putus

THANK YOU SO MUCH for always taking care of me

&

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING

till we meet again..insya'allah

p/s lagi best if nabila, atika, cikgu rahman , rizaldi, hudda, hakim & kekunang ada that day...

kehidupan

dah bertenang sikit

agak terkawal

cuma emosi agak terganggu

masih perlu untuk belajar menerima perubahan

dan keadaan

btw,

dalam lalui hari2 yang tak pasni

aku dah confirm date interview

7 january (tuesday)

scared to death liao~

but aku harus maintain tenang 

walaupun hati ni berombak tak henti

hal peribadi?

sangat lah peribadi

menangis?

tipu lah kalau tak

sekuat mana pun aku

tapi kalau dah tak daya

keluar juga airmata ni

even lama juga dapat bertahan

apapun..doa and usaha itu penting

and yakin dengan tentuan Allah

siapa aku untuk pertikai kan segala kerja tuhan..

 

hanya satu yang ku pohon

moga aku dikurniakan kekuatan dan jalan untuk terus melangkah

dan tetap kan pendirian dalam membuat keputusan dan pilihan

sebab Dia yang lebih tahu tentang lebih dan kurangnya diri

aku ini.

selamat hari jumaat

and tahun baru :) 

ku pendam sebuah duka

hari ini

bismilahirahmanirahim....
harini... hari permulaan
harini ini aku gentar

semoga segalanya baik sahaja

nervous

rasa gugup ini sangat dasyat sekali
tak tahu kenapa..
selepas serangan perasaan bingung dan keliru minggu lepas
kini darah turun naik macam waterfall

gugup
sebab memikir kan kehidupan yang akan datang
gugup
sebab memikir kan di mana aku berada tahun akan datang
gugup
sebab memikir kan bila kan kesudahan kisah diri aku ini

btw
aku tak tahu ini berita gembira atau tidak
sebab masih samar samar
aku sekarang sudah diintai oleh 1 firm milik australia yang base nye di Sydney.
dorang sedang cari recruit untuk cawangan yang nak buka di **
rasa tak percaya
macam mimpi
sebab tak sampai 2 jam apply kerja itu
suddenly mereka dah respond
so far feedback sangat memberangsangkan
and if semua okay
interview bulan depan 
mudahan position itu adalah rezeki aku
insya'allah

After a long journey..

little agnes

credit: Google images

for the past few days, i been watching despicable me and Monster Inc. again and again. i don't know with you guys, but when i see photos of these two little kids Agnes and boo, i smile a lot. they are so cute...especially Agnes.

i hope it made you smile too :)

checklist?

kini harus

berpijak di bumi yang nyata

biar cubit peha kanan

terasa sakit paha kiri

checklist?

tiada lagi istilah checklist dalam

hidup ini,

cukup lah

checklist yang lama pun sudah ter'overdue'

tak perlu ditambah kan lagi

dengan harapan yang tak pasti.

mengharapkan

terus dapat mengkawal perasaan

supaya sentiasa positive

dan rasional.

rasa ini

rasa ini

rasa yang pelik

rasa keliru

atau

rasa yakin?

aku pun tak pasti. .

rasa sedih yang tak terucap

rasa pedih yang perit

aku ingin menjerit

tapi aku tahu bunyi itu 

hanya tersekat di tekak 

People

alhamdulillah
eventhough last minute plan
eventhough hujan yang tak malu malu berjurai
membasahi bumi
eventhough angin yang kadang kala sangat ganas menyerang
alhamdulillah
bbq farewell berjalan dengan baik sekali
terima kasih ahli ahli rumah yang sangat sporting

ehem
esok saya kerja
jadi tak dapat nak melambai lambai
atau melihat bayangan mereka hilang menaiki pesawat
apapun saya sayang mereka mereka ini.

____________________________________________________________

nothing last forever
people come
people go but insya'allah 1 day we'll meet again
i don't know where
don't know when but i know we'll meet again
if God willing...

gambar ini waktu birthday party tahun lepas. saya suka gambar ni sebab semua sepertinya sangat happy.
photo : Raja Rs

hati

received a text message from him
i was like...ehem kenapa dia ni
then received an image pula
ohh dia bakal jadi bapa

tahniah untuk dia
gembira untuk dia

honestly aku agak kelaut tadi masa buat grocery shopping
for farewell bbq tengahari tadi
gara gara dapat gambar kiriman itu

tipu lah kalau hati tak tercuit
waktu hari dia nikah pun aku boleh pedih pedih
ya benda dah lama
3 tahun lebih dah
tapi aku tak boleh tipu diri ni 
yang dia pernah ada tempat dalam hati
dia pernah buat aku gembira
dan tak kerterlaluan jua
kalau aku cakap
dia orang pertama buat aku kenal apa itu kehidupan

apapun aku sentiasa harap dia dapat yang terbaik dan happy
selalu..

dan kita masih bersahabat sampai bila bila :) 

seven eleven. Thursday

ceritanya begini

balik dari ber'lari' tadi

ian terus peluk aku 

'yeah, you did very well'

respond aku pulak

'apakah?'

rupanya dah keluar result

btd.(building technology design)

phew~

lepas 1 nightmare

bila jam 4pm email pulak masuk

result ds(design studio) pulak release.

sesungguhnya aku tak senang duduk

jadi chimney aku sekejap kerana nervous.

dan..akhirnya..ALHAMDULILLAH

segala mimpi ngeri aku sudah berakhir.

Sunday

sunday. nov 3rd, 2013

what a boring weekend.
semua plan tak jadi..
tak apalah.
duduk saja kat bilik
sambil menghabis kan episode drama kental ni.

packing?
malas der...
esok mungkin akan mula.

gembira + proud

kombinasi dua perkataan diatas 

adalah apa yang tersimpan di fikiran sekarang.

gembira kerana dapat membantu (mungkin tak seberapa)

proud kerana dia tetap tabah dan terus bangun..

honestly,

for the past few days

my mind keeps thinking about her

non stop,

and its affecting me so much.

i don't want to cry in front of her

cause it might hurt her more.

Yes, they cry because they don't have words to say.

so do i.

hilang miliknya tidak berganti

sedang kan aku masih punya mereka yang masih sihat

tegak berdiri

cuma terpisah kerana cetek nya pemikiran diri

atau mungkin lupa diri

whatever it is,

she made it!

alhamdulillah.

akal + perasaan

hati ini
dengan tiba tiba berteka teki
betol ke?
tak menyesal ke?

aku sendiri pun sekarang ni
"whatever" kan saja

sesungguhnya aku perlu buat pilihan yang bijak
bukan mengikut perasaan semata semata 

istiqarah mungkin...

hidup

secara rawak nya
segala urusan pelajaran sudah selasai
cukup lah sampai sini sahaja
minda tak mampu menerima lagi segala input berkaitan.

sekarang perlu fikir kan
perjalanan hidup akan datang..
lebih terperinci
kini aku dah intai intai beberapa tempat
m atau s
jujurnya s lebih menjadi pilihan

pulang MALAYA?
jauh sekali
mungkin tidak buat masa ini

al fatihah

to my beloved friend,
i know u can do it..
smash it 
and wrap it..!!!

may Allah give you all the strength you need to move forward.
and may Allah place arwah among those He love..


Al-fatihah

karma

some say

it takes a minute to find a special person

and hour to appreciate them

a day to love them 

BUT then

an entire life to forget them..

Realiti dan fantasi

JUNE 13th - JULY 15th , 2013
selepas 6 weeks cuti
Launceston - Melbourne - Kuala Lumpur
Langkawi - Kuala Lumpur - Port Dickson - Kuala Lumpur
Labuan - Kota Kinabalu - Labuan - Kota Kinabalu
Labuan - Brunei - Melbourne - Launceston

turun naik flight and ferry macam naik kereta.
Happy?
HARUS lah. sebab dapat keluar dari Launnie
Upset?
ada juga, bila ada argument.
__________________________________________________________________

Launceston, JULY 18th
back to reality
sekolah, kerja, sekolah dan kerja dan kerja
hanya 2 unit, dan harapnya tamat lah riwayat hidup sebagai student.

assignment?
banyak. even class hanya 2 hari
tapi rasanya hari hari sangat padat schedule.

kesian dengan groupmate. 
sebab mungkin aku kurang contribute.
otak sangat beku dan lembap.

actually aku prefer buat kerja sendiri
sepertinya aku punya cara kerja aku sendiri
hmmm..PENAT, exhausted.
brain fucked.
________________________________________________________________

mission aku hanya satu.
aku nak game.
nak habis.
  
Sometimes things don’t go as planned
but it’s exactly the way they were supposed to be

Girlfriend.

august 17th, 2013

I met her around February, 2010 at 7 Oswald Street, she's one fun girl, she knows how to make me laugh with anything, especially when she turn to her favorite cartoon character sin chan (berguling guling macam tenggiling).. We have been through so many things together, we share so so many memories together that will always last life time. She's someone that I could turn to whenever times wasn't good for me. She knows all about me, she has been there for me through all of my ups and downs but yet she still stand here beside me. She's almost like my sister!! 

Since I met you, you have learned so much, give your heart and passion in what you believe and you actually have grown up so much.. I am simply proud of what you have done. I am forever grateful that we met and become great great girlfriend. 

I Love YOU so much and all the best in whatever you do and CONGRATULATION on your BIG Day..

november, 2010

judika

them

happy belated birthday baba, ibu & eisya

i wanna write 'i miss you' on a rock

and throw it at your face 

so you know how much it hurts to miss you!

p/s: i miss being missed

Actually, I felt better after 16 hours of proper, proper sleep. Its been so long since I slept that long. Thank you. :)

Chapter 26. 14 march 2013

First of all

THANKs for all the well wishes guys and girls

Hope everyone's safe wherever they are

enjoy the day and many more happy times to come.

________________________________________________________________

I'm at the 2-6 now

where did all the time go?

well, nothing much I can say

Might not expect things to happen

because it's better to be surprised than feel disappointed

whatever will be, will be. Amin

p/s thank you so much for giving me the support that I need all this while

Love,

Farraneil Az

my heart soar

they're my parents. 
I miss them.
Losing your parents is never easy,
however old you are.
I find this frustrating and stupid.

Well, you never get over it.
In fact, you get through it
YES, probably I get used to it
but I don't get over it.

A pieces of my life jigsaw has been removed and
however much I rearrange the other pieces,
they never quite fit in the same way again.

The difficult times are still there,
but they ebb and flow and live learned to accept them.

Birthday can be hard,
every time, not every year but occasionally.
There's no rhyme or reason to when it might happen.
I'm only human. Forgive me Allah!
I can be fine for a months, maybe a year

The smallest thing can make my heart dip; 
seeing a young child with their parents because
my parents don't really spent time with me when I was kid

grief can do strange things to you.
an emotion that often rears its head is envy
It's not something I'm proud of but it's there all the same
It usually burns low but increases slightly in certain situation

my parents were by no means perfect
and I wasn't the ideal daughter
Whatever it is I'm still their daughter
I always be
and they'll always be my parents
I carry them with me each day..

deep inside, I really miss them.

Zaiton Sameon - Menaruh Harapan

si sepet

officially aku sudah berada di rumah baru

suasana yang 100% berbeza.

agak awkward mula nya

tapi alhamdulillah sudah boleh suai kan diri

dengan housemate yang gila gila perangainya

____________________________________________________________

sakit?

ya aku sakit lagi

2 minggu lebih. tonsillitis

yang tak bestnya bila batuk kahar aku berdarah

dan bila malam hari

temperature badan naik mendadak

mungkin aku terlampau letih

itu, ini, sana dan sini

Tidur?

as usual paling lama 3jam paling max

padahal badan dah terkulai layu sangat

_____________________________________________________________

oh 23hb Feb lepas birthday baba.

sudah ku kirim kan email sebagai penganti diri

tapi sayang nya tak berbalas

tak apa la

siapa aku..

aku just mampu dakan baba sehat dan happy selalu.

and today dah 4 march..kejap je

10 hari lagi birthday aku...tapi taknak ingat pun dah selalunya aku pon lupa birthday aku bila

aku tak mengharapkan apa apa

cukup la sekadar ada orang orang yang masih menyenangi aku 

ada di sekeliling aku ni

Adam?

ye aku sungguh mengharap dia ada dekat dengan aku

aku penat mengira hari 

menanti kedatangan dia..

maratap sedih saban waktu

tapi aku sungguh harap dia ada bersama.

diri aku belum kuat sepenuhnya

aku masih bergantung harap dengan ubat ubat yang semakin hari semakin menjelek kan

aku muak

aku jemu

makan ubat hari hari.

_____________________________________________________________

Kerja

almost everyday aku kerja

tak tahu lah next semester nanti macam mana

dengan class, dengan studio dengan kerja

harap semua okay.

Sepet oh sepet 

moga kau terus kuat untuk terus kan hari hari mu yang mendatang.

strength

It's been ages since i've been on to update my blog.

well, 2012 has definately been one of the hardest and most emotional years I have in a long time..and now perhaps

______________________________________________________________

I am tired of people telling me to "SMILE"

" Farra... can you please smile?"

" Farra, how's your day? smile please!" urgh

I'm honestly tired of trying, sick of crying and I know I've been smiling but it's all fake..F.A.K.E dude!!

It's hard for me to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothing is right

I really wish I could say everything I wanted to say, but I realize it's not that easy

It's selfish to say that, I just can't help it.

I need a stable job and I need to feel good all the times even its not

I need people to survive, I can survive alone but that's all i'll ever be, alone.

yeah..finding the strength to stay calm and move on.

and all strength might comes from Him.

When He separates us from something or someone we love,

there no other choice but just be patience and strong because

God's plans for our lives are always better than what we think is best.

I hope it gets better.

chapte 26.

assalamualaikum 2013.

just nak graduate and adam.

sekian